From Stress to Strategy: Helping Kids Build Emotional Resilience During the Holidays

While the holidays are intended to emphasize joy and connection, this time period can also frequently be characterized as full of high expectations, disrupted schedules, and increased social demands. Navigating those complexities can be emotionally exhausting, particularly for children, and it challenges their growing ability to cope with change and manage strong feelings. Rather than trying to avoid difficult emotions, emotional resilience calls on us to adapt to the unexpected, master emotional regulation, remain flexible under pressure, and cope in healthy ways as a response to the difficulties that arise.

Emotional resilience can be learned through the modeling and behaviors of adults in their lives. Every day presents new opportunities for parents and caregivers to actively demonstrate how to move through disappointment, excitement, and fatigue with grace and self-awareness. When families address potential stressors proactively instead of waiting to react, they can keep the magic of the holidays centered around peace, presence, and festivity - without succumbing to emotional overload.

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS & OVER-STIMULATION

An unfortunate aspect of the holidays is occasionally unrealistic expectations, particularly regarding gifts, events, and behavior. These expectations are a definitive origin point for much of the stress that occurs in response to this time period. Children can learn how to maintain emotional equilibrium by grounding themselves in the present moment and regulating in the face of heightened sensory input.

• Proactive Planning and Discussion: Before large gatherings or changes in daily routines, talk with your child about what the environment will be like. Consider a variety of factors, including the people, anticipated noise level, and estimated duration. Anxiety is reduced when there is a clear understanding of what to expect.

• Regulation Strategies: Teach children to identify potential indicators of emotional distress, such as irritability, dysregulated breathing, headaches, increased heart rate, and stomachaches. Help them brainstorm ways to find relief and plan ahead for obstacles that may arise. This might include things like taking a break in a quiet space, playing with a fidget toy, or getting fresh air outside. Emotional regulation requires children to feel empowered not only in how they recognize when dysregulation occurs, but also how they respond in ways that work best for them as individuals.

• The Power of "No": A common pitfall at any time - but especially the holidays - is people-pleasing. Health boundaries are crucial, and they are learned best through modeling and explicit encouragement. If a schedule is too demanding, parents can illustrate through action and verbal explanations that it is acceptable to turn down invitations, leave early, or adjust expectations in order to prioritize rest and well-being. Through these experiences, children learn that staying grounded, well-rested, and connected are meant to be balanced - not sacrificed in order to meet every presented demand.

NAVIGATING SOCIAL COMPLEXITIES WITH GRACE

Another challenging element of the season is an increase in gatherings that involve interacting with unfamiliar relatives, strangers, and alternations in dynamics with peers. All of these situations necessitate high levels of social-emotional intelligence, perspective-taking, and conflict resolution skills. 

• Interpersonal Skills: Prior to social events, work together to explore simple conversational starters and polite responses. This can include appropriate body language - like making eye contact and listening actively - and how to respond to situations or requests that might make them uncomfortable. Rehearsal in a safe environment can increase confidence and reduce feelings of awkwardness.

• Managing Disappointment: The reality of life is that not every desire or expectation will be met; the holidays can amplify this immutable fact in difficult ways. Teach children that while it is healthy to validate the feeling of disappointment, it is important to then shift the focus to gratitude and possibilities for the future. 

• Conflict Resolution: Conflicts are another natural part of life, and they present an opportunity for children to learn how to express their needs, practice perspective taking and empathy, and actively listen to others. Rather than reactiveness or arguing, work with your child to practice phrases that help them articulate how they are feeling as well as acknowledge the feelings of others. For instance, using “I feel” and “I understand that you are feeling” are simple frameworks for accomplishing both of these core elements in conflict resolution. 

By taking this unique opportunity to help children develop emotional resilience, we can reinforce skills that are essential for lifelong success and self-regulation. Life is full of ups and downs, and the greatest gift of the season might very well be the chance to refine how they navigate change and external pressures with flexibility, strength, and a grounded inner world.

By Brandi R.

College and Career Readiness for Little Learners

From a very young age, students are asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Our little learners begin to uncover their life’s dreams and explore different career opportunities they may be interested in. Young students identify common occupations, like teacher, doctor, chef, and electrician. Sometimes, rather ambitious double occupations, like teacher/vet are named with admiration. And while it may be instinct to encourage students to limit their search to ONE full time job, the truth of the matter is that many professionals choose to explore careers throughout their life’s journey despite their prior knowledge or education. So, how can we equip little learners with the tools they need to explore these options and be successful despite their final career choices?

College and Career Readiness skills support a variety of tools and strategies related to organizational techniques, critical thinking, social-emotional intelligence, and a variety of life skills that ultimately promote executive functions. There are many benefits to using College and Career Readiness strategies throughout learning. These strategies focus on essential skills that support overall communication, problem solving, leadership, creativity, and responsibility. 

 Students can practice these skills in a variety of ways:

• Practice structured note-taking while reading or a visual/auditory presentation of information

• Analyze problems by discussing appropriate solutions that will be most effective

• Use organizational tools like graphic organizers, planners, trapper keepers, desk organizers, color coding information, and other organizational systems

• Discuss important feelings and emotions to expand emotional intelligence

• Engage with mindfulness activities

Many schools are adopting programs, such as AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) that incorporate College and Career Readiness skills into their curriculum, resources, and daily routine. Schools can support little learners by taking time in their busy days to explicitly learn essential skills required for successful job application. Additionally, using classroom jobs, homework planners, and daily routines will help students develop organizational and responsibility skills. Implementing social-emotional curriculums, morning meetings, or daily discussions can help students expand their social emotional intelligence. Schools may also choose to incorporate project based learning opportunities to develop citizenship and problem solving skills. Classrooms may also support their college and career readiness by creating collaborative work environments, using student-led opportunities (conferences, meetings, presentations) to address personal/academic challenges and strengths, and educational field trips to explore opportunities. Career Day is a great opportunity to explore different options and start promoting career inquiry. It is also a great way for families to engage by discussing their educational backgrounds and careers.

While college exploration is valuable, it is equally important for these structures to include career exploration so that students understand their options and the essential skills needed to be successful in both areas. For example, as students continue their education, teachers often hear “I’m not going to college so this doesn’t matter”. From a young age, students need to have access to important strategies that will help them as they embark on their exploration of career interests. Not only will these skills support academic success, they will also give students the appropriate tools needed to be successful in day-to-day life, workplace environments, educational settings, and self-management.

Written by Ami Z.

Strategies to Help Children Navigate Big Feelings

Stress, anxiety, frustration, restlessness, anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, and guilt—what do all of these have in common? They make up some of those BIG feelings children commonly experience as they grow into adolescence. As parents, witnessing your children moving through these big emotions can lead to some pretty intense feelings for you as well! So, what can be done to help when big feelings arise? This blog highlights strategies children can use to become more emotionally aware and provides tools they can add to their emotional regulation toolkits!

The Building Blocks of Emotional Awareness

Before diving into strategies for managing big emotions, it is first imperative to develop an awareness of what those emotions actually are, when they strike, and how each individual reacts to them. Even at a young age, there are ways to begin to strengthen the awareness of one’s emotions.

Visual prompts offer a great opportunity for children to name their feelings as they begin to become more emotionally aware. Feeling face charts can help children connect the way they feel to the proper word to describe it. Once a child can actually name what they are feeling, they will be more empowered to communicate their big emotions that arise, and you as the parent will be better able to help them!

Books and movies can be another tool to assist children in understanding what their big feelings are. Inside Out is an excellent Pixar movie that turns emotions into characters. Books like In My Heart: A Book of Feelings also help represent and describe the many feelings humans go through! There are also some great social media accounts, one example being Big Little Feelings, that aim to empower parents to help their children navigate all of their emotions.

When your child is going through a big feeling, help them to name the feeling, and be sure to validate it. Children need to know that all emotions are okay to feel and have a sense of security in doing so. Once this groundwork is laid, your focus can shift toward helpful strategies to manage these emotions!

Coping Mechanisms: Creating an Emotional Regulation Toolkit

Once your child has a better understanding of their emotions, they can then start to build a personal toolkit of ways to cope with these feelings. Remember, each child is different, and what works for one kid may not work as well for another. Below are some starting points to try out!

Mindfulness and breath work can be extremely powerful tools to use when stress, frustration, and anger come around. These practices encourage more self-awareness in times of calmness, so that whenever big emotions arise they can be of help! Check out our previous blog titled “Stress-Free Ways to Incorporate Breath Work into Kids’ Daily Lives” for specific ways to integrate breath work into your children’s day.

Exercise may be one of the most effective ways to deal with emotions when they get big and scary. Movement, in whatever form your child prefers, will allow them to clear their heads enough to be able to circle back and more gracefully deal with their feelings. Going for a run or walk, having a dance party to some favorite tunes, biking, playing a sport, or spending time in nature are all ways to get the body moving!

It is also important to cultivate some emotional outlets with these strategies. A Calm Down Kit is a physical bag or basket with items that nurture the senses and help calm the nervous system. Read our previous blog called Creating the Ultimate Calm Down Kit: Using the Five Senses to Reset and Regulate to learn how to create your own. Allowing space for creativity can also be of use. Drawing, painting, dancing, singing, creative writing, and journaling are all great creative outlets to help process big emotions strike! We also have a blog titled Encouraging Children to Find their Voice Through Journaling with tips to help jumpstart journaling.

There is no single “best” way to deal with all of the big emotions children will inherently encounter as they grow, but through communication, practice, and trial and error, you and your child can work together to create a personalized set of strategies and tools to maneuver all of life’s twists and turns.

Written by Laine J.